A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You are a booty call, not a friend.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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