Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
