It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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