Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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