I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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