You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
