I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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