do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
