god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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