Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
