I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
