And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
