Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
