Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
