But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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