Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
