Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize