It's just like the Real World with babies
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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