she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
