Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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