what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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