Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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