That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
