sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
