If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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