How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
