You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize