he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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