i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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