Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
