So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
