I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
