i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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