In the future we'll all be gay
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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