You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
