I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
