I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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