So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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