oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
