she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
