Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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