I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
