Need sex. Gaining weight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
