So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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