i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
