Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
