well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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