you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize