He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
