Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
