Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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