I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
