It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I could fuck to npr.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
