absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
