Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
