I heard we made out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will be naked everywhere
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
