HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
