Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize