When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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