Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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